Mindfulness for children
In this article:
- What is mindfulness?
- How mindfulness benefits parents and kids
- Ways to teach your child to be more mindful
It’s 4:30pm. Swimming practice starts at five. You’ve managed to get both your five-year old and your toddler ready. With a bit of luck you can pop into the supermarket for bread, milk and the chicken you need for dinner – before class starts. You’re almost through the pay point when your five-year old decides he would rather have chips for dinner. You say no. He erupts…and the clock ticks on…
You could:
A Fly off the handle – grab the kids and head to car without the items you need. You’ll likely arrive at swimming practice stressed, flustered and almost in tears. You’ll probably feel bad later for snapping at him.
or
B Take a deep breath. Pay for the groceries. And walk calmly to the car. Without one angry word being uttered.
For most parents B would be first prize but A is often the reality. If you are practising mindful parenting, B could become your new reality.
Understanding mindfulness
The practice of mindfulness hails from Buddhist teachings – a way to create a connection between mind and body in yoga. People all over the world, regardless of religion or culture, are harnessing the power of mindfulness to become more aware of their surroundings, thoughts and behaviour in the present moment.
Dr Jon Kabat-Zinn, a world renowned scientist, author and teacher, is credited with bringing mindfulness into mainstream medicine In 1979, Kabat-Zinn founded a stress reduction clinic at the University of Massachusetts Medical Centre and offered the Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction programme (MBSR). Since its inceptions thousands of people have completed the eight-week course to improve their quality life.
In his book, Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life, Kabat-Zinn writes: “Mindfulness practice means that we commit fully in each moment to be present; inviting ourselves to interface with this moment in full awareness, with the intention to embody as best we can an orientation of calmness, mindfulness, and equanimity right here and right now.”
Benefit for parents and children
With modern lifestyles a constant rush from one activity or chore to another, both parents and children are facing higher levels of stress than ever before. Demands on children are great – from academic excellence to good results on the sport field or in cultural areas. Children are facing health-related issues and mental challenges at a much younger age.
Mindfulness is a tool you can use to help you be a better parent. Being more mindful in your parenting can help you to:
- cope better mentally with the challenges of parenthood
- get a handle on your emotions
- stay calm and alert during a difficult or traumatic event
- cope better with stress
- become a better listener
- be present in the moment and engage with your child
- learn to respond and not react
- feel less fatigued and more productive
- exercise more patience
Mindfulness benefits children by teaching them to:
- take a virtual step backwards to consider the bigger picture before reacting
- cope better in conflict situations and in times of stress (resilience)
- remain calm in situations – to reduce anxiety
- consider the consequences of their actions
- become more aware of their emotions
- understand and self-regulate their emotions
- show more empathy towards others
- build solid, lasting relationships with others
How to teach a child to be more mindful
Any of the following methods can be used in various situations – e.g. dealing with a bully at school, feeling afraid in the dark at home, or feeling anger toward a friend or sibling.
Method A – STOP what you are doing
S – Stand still. Stop what you are doing and be present in the moment
T – Take three deep breaths
O – Observe the surroundings – what can you see, touch, taste, feel and hear?
P – Proceed; carry on with more awareness
Method B – Use objects to focus
Purchase a snow globe. Ask your child to shake it up, then stop, keep still and watch the flakes fall down to the ground. Ask them to notice how the flakes flutter and fall. Things can be upside-down and messy, but when we take a moment to be still, the clutter settles – just like your mind. You can make your own globe using glitter inside a tightly closed glass jar.
Choose a sound – perhaps a bell or a note on a piano. Tell your children that when they hear the sound, they should stop and listen, carefully breathing in and out, until they can no longer hear it. You can use any object that can produce a loud, medium and softer sound – gently fading away.
Method C – Practice breathing
Ask your child to choose a fluffy toy and lie down on his or her bed. Place the toy in a sitting position on the child’s tummy. Ask him or her to breathe deeply to make the toy move up and down. Keep watching the toy and practice slow, deep breathing so the toy moves up and down slowly.
Practicing mindfulness with your children
Make time for mindfulness everyday
Find ways to build mindfulness into your day. For example, if you take your child to school by car, switch off the radio and just listen to the sounds of the city on your drive. Ask your child what sounds did he or she hear? How was the drive different to previous day? Did they see anything surprising today that they hadn’t noticed before? The same can be done with anything in your child’s day – meals, bath time, teeth brushing or a bedtime routine. Even sharing a good and bad part of one’s day at the dinner table is a mindful practice.
Engage in mindful interaction
Play a board game with your child, read a book together, go outside and kick a ball, or take a walk around your neighbourhood and really engage your senses. Be present in the moment. Encourage your child to concentrate on the game or story. Ask questions or talk about what you are doing. If your mind wanders, bring it back to the present. If you notice your child’s concentration waning, do the same. Turn off all distractions, including your cell phone.
Keep it positive
Don’t use mindfulness as any type of punishment. If you use a naughty corner or chair for your toddler, or take away privileges from an older children, never link this with being mindful. Keep mindfulness as positive as possible.
Resources
- The Mayo Clinic, www.mayoclinic.com
- Good Reads, www.goodreads.com
- Heart Mind Kids, www.heartmindkids.com
- Life Hacker, www.lifehacker.com
- Mind Body Green, www.mindbodygreen.com