Warning signs for teen suicide
Is your child depressed or feeling overwhelmed by a situation? Know the warning signs that may lead to depression and suicide.
When Joe* found that her 14-year-old son had hanged himself in their home gym, she was devastated. The teenager had struggled at the hands of a school bully. What started as small childhood pranks later turned nasty on social media. Joe and her husband Peter* had missed the warning signs for depression. The boy took his own life two weeks before his 15th birthday.
Suicide statistics and facts
The World Health Organisation (WHO) state that every year more than 800,000 people die owing to suicide, with many more people attempting to take their own lives. This equates to one suicide every 40 seconds.
The WHO states that suicide occurs throughout the human lifespan, but is the second leading cause of death among 15-29 year olds. Suicide not only affects the person who takes his or own life, but has a grave impact on family, friends and even communities. The WHO has set a target to reduce the global suicide rate by 10% by 2020.
According the South African Depression and Anxiety Support Group (SADAG), hanging is the most frequently employed method of suicide in the country, followed by shooting, gasing and burning. The suicide rate among children age 10 to 14 has doubled over the last 15 years.
Mounting pressure on teens
While coping with puberty and changing bodies, today’s teenagers are pressured to ‘have it all’ and to ‘do it all’ from the latest brand name clothing and technological devices to social acceptance and popularity, excellence in sports, academic and cultural activities. High levels of responsibly may also be placed on teens – more so than they are able to handle. Social media add fuel to the fire. Teens are constantly bombarded with the successes and achievements of cyber friends.
Why teens commit suicide
- Peer pressure and bullying, including cyber bullying
- Stress – pressure situations at school or at home
- Depression and other mental disorders including bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder
- Conflicts regarding sexual orientation
- Substance abuse – theirs or that of a parent or other family member
- Domestic violence or sexual abuse
- Personal situations that seem hopeless, such as parents divorcing, or an unplanned pregnancy
- Physical illness
- Witnessing the suicide of a close friend or family member
Contemplating suicide
Sometimes the suicide is planned in advance. The person believes that the situation is hopeless and suicide is viewed as a way to stop the pain. If the person is very depressed and struggling to cope, the suicide may be unplanned. It may happen quickly a result of an additional emotional situation that presents itself – such as a break up, unplanned pregnancy or cyber bullying incident. An attempt at suicide may also be a cry for help. The person can’t express how they are feeling, so they try to get the message across to loved ones. Sadly, many of these attempted suicides are successful; others leave the person with brain damage, organ damage or paralysis.
Warning signs
Parents are urged to know the warning signs for depression and suicide and take them seriously. Teen suicide is preventable! SADAG says that 75% of all suicide victims give warning of their intentions to a friend or family member.
- Talking about suicide
Take it very seriously if your teen mentions suicide or seems to be saying goodbye. The messages may not be direct, but subtle – “Things would be better if I wasn’t here” or “I’m not going to need that anymore“. Seek immediately intervention for your child. Ignoring the problem won’t make it go away. - Depression
Although not all depressed people will contemplate suicide, about 60% of people in South Africa who do commit suicide were also depressed. - Previous attempts at suicide
If your child has attempted suicide before, you must be extra vigilant. About 20 to 50% of people who succeed in killing themselves have tried before. - Other signs to watch for:
- lack of interest in activities which were once enjoyed
- withdrawing from family and friends
- low moods or extreme sadness
- changes in sleep habits
- fatigue and loss of energy
- feeling worthless
- changes in eating habits
- anxiety or agitation
- abuse of drugs or alcohol
- giving away possessions
- changes in academic achievement
- talking about death and dying
How you can help
- Show that you care
If you notice that your teenager is withdrawn and seems depressed, don’t wait for him or her to approach you. Ask your child about his or her problems. Be kind and considerate in your approach. Pledge your love and support. Don’t assign blame or shout at your teen. Your child’s problems may be very significant (like a bully at school or on social media) or they may seem irrelevant to you – don’t judge but show sympathy, love and care. Ask directly if they are contemplating suicide. Explain that feelings of depression can lead to these thoughts and that depression can be treated. - Get professional help
If your child tells you that he or she is contemplating suicide, take this very seriously. Call a suicide crisis line for assistance or contact your employee wellbeing programme, a paediatrician or GP, religious leader or a school counsellor. In a crisis situation, don’t leave your child alone, instead take him or her to a local emergency centre. If you have a firearm in your home, it must be kept in a locked safe. Remove other weapons and dangerous objects. Remove all medication or lock it in a safe. If you child is an extreme danger to him or herself, they will need to be hospitalised.
Important numbers: Childline 08000 55 5555; Destiny Helpline for Youth & Students 0800 41 42 43; Suicide Crisis Line 0800 567 657 or SMS 31392 or the SADAG Mental Health Line 011 234 4837. - Assist your child in the recovery process
If medication is prescribed, make sure your child takes the medication. Be supportive and encourage an open dialogue with your child. Do things together as a family. Make sure your child is eating a healthy, balanced diet and getting adequate exercise and sleep.
Counselling and psychological services
Who can help your child?
- Social workers can help teens and their parents make sense of challenging issues and feelings. Counselling may be offered at your child’s school free of charge or at medical aid rates. If your child is struggling to cope with peer pressure, school work load, other responsibilities or emotional issues, a social worker is able to provide counselling, support and guidance for your child.
- Psychologists provide counselling and psychotherapy for those struggling with emotional issues. They assist with providing the tools needed to cope with various problems. A clinical psychologist is trained to diagnose and treat mental, emotional and behavioural disorders. A counselling physiologist provides counselling to those struggling to emotionally cope with life’s challenges.
Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) is used to help the teenager understand the source of negative thoughts and change the way they respond to them. It is very effective for treating depression and anxiety.
Dialectic Behaviour Therapy (DBT) is focused on helping the individual manage difficult and sometimes overwhelming feelings and is a very effective treatment for suicidal thoughts, depression and self-harming behaviour.
- Psychiatrists are medical specialists trained to diagnose and treat mental disorders. A GP or psychologist may refer your teen to a psychiatrist if he or she suspects a mental disorder such as bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder or anxiety border. Various therapies and medication may be prescribed to treat the condition.
- Your employee wellbeing programme is available 24/7/365 to offer professional telephonic counselling. Contact them if you need support and advice or referral to an appropriate resource.
* Not their real names
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