Surviving A Suicide Attempt
Hope And Recovery After A Suicide Attempt
Suicide is a subject rarely openly discussed. Shrouded in myth, untruths and stigma, suicide is something many are fearful to talk about. “Suicide is a classic puzzle of mental health: one part biology, one part circumstance, and often one part mystery,” says psychiatrist Dr Drew Ramsey.
Based on stories from those who have attempted to take their lives and survived, we know that the primary goal of a suicide is not to end their life, but it is to end their pain. “People in the grip of suicidal depression are in unimaginable emotional agony,” says Ramsey. “If you haven’t been suicidal, feeling suicidal makes no sense. Feeling like checking out amid stress or wishing it were all over is different than to visualise killing yourself.”
If you have attempted suicide, you may be wondering “What now?”
The first thing you need to know is that you are not alone; you are not weak, and you are not crazy.
Suicide attempt survivors are telling their stories and sharing their journeys, offering hope and showing others that they are not alone. They exemplify the strength it takes to admit to yourself, and others, that you are not OK. They show us all how important it is to engage in real conversation about suicide.
This is what survivors want you to know…
Your feelings of loss and uncertainty about the future are perfectly normal.
You may still be feeling as despondent and desperate as you did before your attempt. It is unlikely that you got to this point overnight so getting back to a state of hope and optimism will take time too. You do not have to do it alone.
“The time right after your suicide attempt can be the most confusing and emotional part of your entire life. In some ways, it may be even more difficult than the time preceding your attempt. Not only are you still facing the thoughts and feelings that led you to consider suicide, but now you may be struggling to figure out what to do since you survived”, says Sam.
Survivors agree that therapy and care, and the continuity of care, are crucial for all suicide attempt survivors. There are many therapeutic approaches and choosing one that suits you and aligns to your life is very important. “We are all individuals – what worked for me, may not work for you,” says Dylan. “What I do know,” he says, “is that we all need help. We can’t do it alone.”
Thoughts of Suicide
“When I’m suicidal, I struggle to listen to reason. My emotional pain is intense and overwhelming, I only care about relief,” says Dee.
Most people who die by suicide have a significant depression that narrows their problem-solving skills and corrodes optimism and hope. “The depressive illness itself makes it virtually impossible to hold onto any semblance of pain going away,” says Ramsey. “Mental illness limits choice.”
Even though it feels pointless, now is the time to pick up the phone to call a friend, your doctor, or a support group. “Sometimes you have to ignore the part of your brain that tells you it isn’t worth it and pick up the phone anyway.”
From Blame to Understanding
You and your support team (therapist, doctor, family and friends) need to work together to formulate an immediate answer that is comfortable for you. Later on, you will find a way to explain how you felt, how you cope and answer the questions you choose to answer.
Support and Hope
“When I’m in crisis, it’s hard for me to think clearly,” says Susan. “There’s a voice in my head that tells me how much better off my parents would be if they didn’t need to support me financially, or if my friends didn’t have to take care of me when I’m at my worst.”
With therapy and support, Susan has learnt to understand that she can challenge those thoughts. Many survivors agree that having each other’s support, having a network of people who understand the deep, dark, malicious thoughts, is critical to recovery.
Everyone has tough days. Allow yourself to take a break – call your therapist, cuddle your pet, go to sleep. Tomorrow is another day.
In Conclusion
Suicide attempt survivor Cara Anna says: “You are not lessened in any way by your experience. You have a lot of company from people of all backgrounds, from all ages and countries who are too scared to admit the same thing. Give yourself permission to move on.”
- See a medical professional
- Acknowledge your current thoughts and feelings
- Plan how you will explain what happened to minimise stress
- Re-establish connections
- Have a plan to stay safe
For everyone feeling the weight of being a suicide survivor or having suicidal thoughts, you are not alone. It is ok not to be ok. Please reach out – we are here. Contact us on 0861 GOLIFE (465433) or SMS 43821.